Saturday 23 July 2011

The Future of Cycle Infrastructure

For too long, the cynics have been deriding local and national government's attempts at encouraging cycling. Some have uncharitably commented upon the dichotomy between their media campaigns and the efforts on the ground. 

There have been those bloggers - whose virtual cup is always half full -  that have pointed out the deficiencies of the Olympic cycle infrastructure and that it might not be in accordance with the "greenest ever games". They may have been somewhat scathing about the fact that Newham council blocked a cycle superhighway to the games as blue offends their delicate sensibilities.

Well shame on them and their cynical outlook.

I think that the "greenest games ever" have a trick up their sleeve. And I have managed to get a photo of it, below.

I have it on good authority* from a source close to the games** that these yellow structures are actually Star Trek style transporters which can beam cyclists directly from their homes to the games thus avoiding the deeply cycling unfriendly roads in Newham and surrounding boroughs.

Clearly this is a major step forward in transportation. Information from an anonymous source*** says that there are one or two teething issues - principally that matter transportation hasn't been invented yet. But neither TfL or local government have ever let lack of functionality stop cycle facilities, and this shouldn't be any different - the fact they don't work won't get in the way of a PR exercise.

However, all this high technology shouldn't be allowed to put off older cyclists. The more traditional amongst us can be comforted with some age-old infrastructure just metres down the road on the greenway.

* OK, the good authority is that I made it up
** The source is me - I am quite close to the games, only a few miles down the road.
*** A good journalist never reveals his source. But it was me again. 

(I can assure the public that no phone hacking was used to get this news scoop)


  1. Sorry, you are wrong. You first photo shows some clever branding for the Government's chosen food-outlet (selected for its encouragement of healthy eating)

  2. Word has it on preliminary tests one guy was forged with a fly and another came out with his legs on back to front. Both are now banned from the track due to an unfair advantage.